I've told a few people that I had two projects due today simultaneously. Well, I was wrong--my Classroom Management handbook is not due until Friday at midnight, so I'm going to work on it a little every day until it's done! That took a lot off my shoulders, and I'm grateful for it.
I also have my Revit Structure Project almost done. At least, my side of it because it's a team project, and we're doing a hotel. I'm making floors 2 and 3. I just need to make the floor itself (as in, what you walk on. The structure itself and the rooms are made) for both of the levels. In any case, I'll have that done by today, and I'll be able to relax for the most part.
That said, I wanted to show you a review I made for Skyward Sword on GameFAQs. There are no big story spoilers in it. There's only a tiny one which will not matter much. Here's the review.
The reason I'm posting this on my blog is that I want some criticisms on its writing. What else could I add? What can I do to make it more thoughtfully written? Etc. Please comment. I really hope to get a star next to it.
P.S. Yes, the title does say "Slightly Biased," because I wanted to be honest (though, if it doesn't seem as biased as I think it is, tell me).
4 Written Scrolls:
Get rid of the opening paragraph or drop it to one sentence.
You may also want to adjust the writing style to make it more matter-of-fact and you can get rid of the "for these reasons, it gets a 9/10" as that is implied when you gave it the score and then stated the reasoning.
Why get rid of the opening paragraph? Most reviews have an opening paragraph.
Can you give me an example of "matter-of-fact"?
Then most reviews need to get rid of the opening paragraph. It's unnecessary and if I ever see them I always skip them. I didn't come to read a review to find out about the person writing, I came to find out about the game.
Matter-of-fact in this case is more stating facts and less stating "I think" and "I felt." Take it less from personal opinion and more into "here's how it is." We know it's your opinion, it's a fan/customer review. Make it more like a research paper and less like a personal essay.
I see. I understand. I'm probably going to just modify the paragraph and shorten it. But I see what you mean by "matter-of-fact."
Thanks.
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